Can't Complain About Much These Days
Finding solace in strangers

Yesterday turned out better than I even hoped for or expected.


Solutions for Wanting to Die


Eventually I will end up without enough candles

to keep lighting a séance for the person I used to be

to come back home.

All the melting wax dripping from my bedroom walls

could fill a birthday cake three times over.

In my dreams, my mother shells lobsters and hangs…


So many people ask me what I do when I’m sad, so I’m gonna share exactly what I do. I believe that it’s different from what most people suggest because not many people tell you that it’s okay to be sad. The moon doesn’t have to be full for us to love it. You will always be loved by the universe.

I want you to follow along with what I’m about to say:

Take a deep breath in to the count of five, then let it all out at once in one powerful exhale. Keep doing this until the thoughts in your mind start to fade. The goal in doing this is to eliminate the story we create in our minds, since we attach our emotions to stories. By stories, I mean the names we call ourselves, what others think of us that we take to heart, the future that we’ve predicted and the past that we regret. It all is a story that we blame for our emotions, but the truth is, that story means nothing, it is all in your mind.
Once you detach from the stories, you’re left sitting with your emotions. Acknowledge them. If your sad, don’t deny yourself of being sad. Identify exactly how your feeling. Not just sad, but something more specific such as lost, lonely, or anxious. Keep blocking out the stories and say to yourself “I have sadness within me, I am not sad.” You don’t have to identify yourself with the emotions your feeling. If you do, then you’re not allowing those emotions to pass because you may question who you are without those emotions. That’s why it’s so hard for people with depression and eating disorders to let go, because that’s how they’ve identified themselves and they aren’t sure who they are without it. Just allow that feeling to float around in your body and imagine it floating past your body like cloud, passing without judgment. It may take a little bit, but keep sitting still until you feel okay. You probably won’t feel happy, you’ll just feel okay. Maybe even numb. That’s okay. From there, I want you to smile and tell yourself that your okay, you’re safe, and you’re alive. That’s all that matters right now, you have no obligation to feel happy right now. Finally, I want you to ask yourself what you’ve learned from this experience. You’ve probably learned something about yourself and possibly the people you’re surrounded by. How can you grow from this? Something in your mindset must change. Some people can do this easily, but others benefit from doing something they love or spending time with people they love to help them. The rest is up to you because how you stand up from this fall is what will help you grow stronger and stronger. Take a feel breath in.. and let it all out. This is a fresh start. xo

"I’m so high I think I’m a cartwheel." Random guy on bike in Madison.